Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Painful Review You Need To Read

By | August 25, 2014

I had serious reservations about this movie but still went to see it… only to find that my reservations were well founded. I won’t say it was a horrible movie but it was a horrible let down to a fan such as myself. As a fan of the original movies, 80’s cartoon, and the comics it was rather painful watching this movie. What was so wrong with it, you ask? Let me count the ways.

The Turtles

The turtles have an easily recognizable look and it has carried on even to the movie that was made in 2007. The new look of the turtles is not appealing. Now, I get the reasoning why they made them look the way they did. They wanted their appearance to be an extension of their individual personalities. I get that but I feel they went WAY over the top with some of the designs. Donatello’s look was particularly painful: Glasses! They had him wearing glasses! First, how are they going to find the right prescription? It is not like he can walk into LenCrafters for an eye exam. Second and more to the point, he and his brothers were exposed to a mutagen that made them grow, develop vocal cords, gain superhuman strength, and take to martial arts like a bird to the wind. So, I seriously doubt the mutagen wouldn’t have given them excellent eye sight.

TMNT - Donatello in glasses

Shredder and The Foot Clan

I get that like everything these days that are being rebooted or redefined a big part of that is modernizing the feel and look. The Foot Clan in this movie seem more like thugs with delusions of being covert, special forces wanna-bees. None of them seemed to have any knowledge of martial arts of even the simplest form and relied heavily on automatic weapons. Another thing, they are pinning the Foot as a terrorist organization. I get there are terrorists in the world but I feel it is a bit over played. The Foot led by Shredder were a criminal empire that wanted to control not to destroy.

Now the Shredder, oh the Shredder, they put him in an exo-skeleton suit. Yes, we are in a new century where technology is the norm and can be used for many great and wonderful things BUT a man such as the Shredder I seriously doubt would ever use such a thing. It would really limit his mobility I don’t care how they made it look in the movie, I still question it. Even in the first movie from the 80’s they had Shredder wearing a cape but when it came to fighting the Turtles he removed it.

TMNT - Shredder

April O’Neil

This has got to be the worst choice ever for a representation of April. I was near tears (not really but you get what I am saying). I had qualms when they got Sarah Michelle Gellar to voice April in the CGI movie of 2007, but she grew on me. It would have been a better, believable casting choice if they had gotten her (Sarah) in her Daphne red wig than seeing Megan Fox. Her portrayal of April was laughable at best, a tragedy at worst. I did not believe for a second that she was April at all.

TMNT - April

Likes

I would be lying if I said there was nothing about this movie that I liked but there were a few things. First, in the lab where the Turtles were given the mutagen we see a canister with the letters ‘TGRI’ on it. Second, Will Fichtner mentions that they had considered using rabbits instead of turtles which made me think of Miyamoto Usagi. Finally, we get to see the Turtle Bus! I have been waiting to see the Turtle Bus in the movies and they finally did it.  (Editors note: think Party Wagon)

Final Thoughts

If I had kids of my own I would take them to see this movie but would enlighten them later on to the greatness of the Turtles  and let them enjoy the movie as it stands. COWABUNGA!!!

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About Brock

*dark, gloomy music begins to play* Greetings punny mortals! I am the Gargoyle Knight! I am geek supreme! You will tremble before me!!! ...*record begins to skip* Curses! Well, the mood was lost at the beginning. Hello, This is Brock. I am a gamer (Mainly Table Top) and am a uber fan of movies, books, and comics. I will post articles on each of these subjects and I hope you will find them informative and entertaining (especially my movies reviews). Enjoy the site!

2 thoughts on “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Painful Review You Need To Read

  1. Megan

    You cannot be serious about letting your future kids watch this garbage LOL

    Reply
    1. Doyle

      I wouldn’t let my son watch it if he asked. I’d pull the original movie off the ole DVD shelf and pop it in.

      Reply

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